toujours_nigel: BFT (Default)
This is an open but rather sparse journal. All my fic can be found here. I can be reached at (pretentious, who, me?). I also stare at pretty pictures on tumblr. and infrequently reblog them here.

I am depressed, introverted, and opinionated about essentially everything.

toujours_nigel: BFT (Default)
One of the things I have been keeping quiet about, and that have been keeping me quiet, is that I am trying--after a fallow period of five years and counting--to return to writing original fiction. I have some stories thought out, at various lengths, but nothing really started yet. Hoping to use November to write a couple of short stories, both roughly in the fantasy genre, even though my head is frankly far more taken up with two realist plots. This prioritisation, however, is necessary because I want to apply to the Clarion West summer workshop, and, while they say they will consider any piece of writing, the workshop itself aims to train sff and horror authors, and I will need one of their several scholarships in order to go if I qualify, so best to load the bases. It's not as though I don't quite enjoy writing fantasy. I would like to discuss my stories as and when I go about writing them, so do chime in if you want to be on the appropriate filter.

I also have some notion about the Yuletide assignment, and adore both the requested canon and character, so that ought to be good.
toujours_nigel: BFT (Default)
I have signed up for Yuletide, but am hoping to have a very low-key year: give one, get one, sort of thing. To which end, please PLEASE do not write me a Treat. I do not intend to write and gift extras this year and it is exceedingly bad for my varied and complicated neuroses to receive without reciprocation, so this is an earnest request. I am not fishing or hinting or hoping reverse psychology will kick in or anything. I love my flist and am fairly assured re: their affections, but I just cannot deal with the terror spike of getting Treats when I have none to give.

Thank you for your kind consideration.


Oct. 6th, 2016 04:51 pm
toujours_nigel: BFT (Default)
I've been gone for a good long while, I know, primarily because I've had nothing to say and not much energy. I've also started an instagram account, since that matches my attention and energy levels pretty much exactly these days. I also spent as much of my free, active, time as I could through September trying my first embroidery project in well over a decade. The quote is what Boromir tells Frodo re becoming a Ring Bearer, at some point in the film, and has always stuck with me. It seemed appropriate, given my headlong plunge back into Tolkien waters.

it begins

Sep. 17th, 2016 11:23 pm
toujours_nigel: BFT (Default)
Made my Yuletide nominations in time. Nothing Renault this year, since my faves are likely to be nominated by others and I wanted to use my slots for less established fandoms.

  1. ?! Masters of Rome - Colleen McCullough

  2. ?! Mahabharata - Vyasa

  3. ?! Paying Guests - Sarah Waters

    • ?! Frances Wray
    • ?! Lillian Barber
    • ?! Christina (Paying Guests)
    • ?! Stevie (Paying Guests)

toujours_nigel: BFT (Default)
Have just consumed Jude Morgan's Passion, having seen a rec go by on friends-of-friends, and am now miserable over Augusta Leigh. Send help and an exorcist.

I owe at least one message, will answer soonest.
toujours_nigel: BFT (Default)
straight down a hole of Silmarillion-angst and can't get up. Especially Fingon/Maedhros, because what is my life what are my choices.
toujours_nigel: (omgewwww)
 Recently read An Indecent Obsession, which was better than I'd hoped given its attitude towards queerness. Even more unfortunately, because McCullough is a subtle-ish author said attitude only became obvious after I'd talked myself into including Alec Deacon in the recent past of the novel, and now I'm stuck making sad grabby hands.

a meme

May. 24th, 2016 11:34 pm
toujours_nigel: BFT (Default)
Nicked off [personal profile] lilliburlero in an attempt to bring about some blog activity

Ask me a question about one of my fics or series. It can be absolutely anything in any project and I will tell you the honest-to-goodness answer (even on the progress/plans for next chapters of current series). You can also ask about my writing as a whole, if you like.
toujours_nigel: BFT (Default)
 Still here, faithfully reading the f-list. Have been lax about posting because life is dull and no ficcing has happened in going on two months now. [personal profile] filia_noctis made me a very long playlist for the Orig. Novel I'm making notes for, so that's there.

fic post

Apr. 3rd, 2016 02:47 am
toujours_nigel: BFT (Default)
not reached the stars (4856 words) by toujours_nigel
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Remus Lupin/Original Male Character(s)
Characters: Remus Lupin
Additional Tags: World Travel, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Grief/Mourning, Parent Death, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Suicide Attempt, POV Remus Lupin
Summary: Remus can't bear to be in England after the war, after James and Lily die, after Sirius goes to Azkaban. He can't run from the marks Sirius leaves on their bodies.
toujours_nigel: BFT (Default)
Glory be to God for dappled things –
For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow;
For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim;
Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls; finches’ wings;
Landscape plotted and pieced – fold, fallow, and plough;
And áll trádes, their gear and tackle and trim.

All things counter, original, spare, strange;
Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)
With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim;
He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change:
Praise him.
toujours_nigel: BFT (Default)
 Oh Shaitan, Oh mischief-maker,
when I think I have you fixed,
imagining you are walking
in front of me,

I turn my head
and find you unexpectedly

behind, smiling with your eyes.

toujours_nigel: BFT (Default)
These things do make me happy to not be following [ profile] yuletide_admin but honestly, you'd think 2013 is too late for anyone to realise that quantity on AO3 and count for Yuletide-qualification.
toujours_nigel: BFT (Default)
 This worldbuilding thing is harder without a canon to build off, isn't it? When one's in sole charge of characterisations and telling little bits of action and so on, I mean, and can't fuck off and write schmoopy AU before the damn thing's done.  This bit of stating the bloody obvious brought to you by fumbling attempts to piece together a novel. why do i do these things to myself dammit.

Anywho, rather more interestingly, [personal profile] filia_noctis and I've been discussing the reactions of adults from various interwar and WWII novels should they run into the Enid Blyton juvenile detectives. Alec Deacon alone...
toujours_nigel: (writer)
Fic post for Remus Lupin's birthday, 10th March.

and in the mirror (2045 words) by toujours_nigel
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Remus Lupin & Draco Malfoy
Characters: Remus Lupin, Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Pansy Parkinson
Additional Tags: Boggarts, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Lucius Malfoy's A+ Parenting, POV Remus Lupin

His third-year Slytherins are a difficult class.

toujours_nigel: BFT (Default)
"Thirty in three months," Lanyon said, and nodded. "I know, I have rather a brutish face."
It was not that, precisely. In fact he had fine, decisive features of the sort one might expect incised on an old coin, half obscured by passing time and many hands, faintly unreal in full daylight and animated conversation. It was his manner that, once one knew his secret, smacked of a certain sententious reserve even beyond her years let alone his. Helen, all unknowing, might have approved, but it gave Harriet a case of social claustrophobia.
"You look as though you wish you were fifty already," she informed him, and stubbed her cigarette out in the proffered ashtray, "and it only seems polite to bring you as near it as possible."
He laughed a little, a soundless gasp she saw as much as heard, escaping in the frigid air. "I've been recalling as near as I could a very martinet of a captain I had very young; it's the only way I can get by without flattening Straike."
"We really ought to get hold of his credentials," she said, and waved off his offer of a third cigarette. "Pity he wasn't at Oxford."
"Cambridge man," Lanyon agreed, and drew meditatively on his own cigarette, cheeks hollowing. "I know a man who might have been up with him, and was a Fellow after, so a few years one way or another shouldn't affect matters. I can go down to the post office and call him tomorrow, since getting near the phone here is an ordeal and a half. He's still up there, can get hold of the records easily."
Something about the gesture had made Harriet's mind swing to fleshly matters like a magnetized needle north. What a filthy little mind I have under the sophistication, she thought, and having administered a quick reprimand, said, "Were you a Cambridge man?"
This time Lanyon's smile was all teeth and no humour, a bright slash. "I was a fishing trawler man, my lady. My father refused to pay for university after I got thrown out of school for touching children wrongly." He finished his cigarette in a long pull and flicked the ash and smouldering stub into the empty carton. "I'd ask you to keep it quiet in the house but you will regardless. Lord Peter knows already, of course."
toujours_nigel: BFT (Default)
A significant minor character you've been steadily growing fonder of demands to be given his own space and story instead of being shoehorned into flashbacks of his little sister's epic narrative and now you have to do all the research you were hoping to avoid?

([personal profile] lilliburlero this is the story you were kind enough to read and review)
toujours_nigel: BFT (Default)
 I think I feel guilty about writing Boromir as always-a-cis-woman, even though barely anyone will read the fic and even though she doesn't have a romantic story-line going, because when I came into fandom  the tendency of gender-bending in order to write your ship safely heterosexual was just coming under critical fire and I absorbed it like a sponge.
So I can say all I want that to explore the ways in which the narrative would change, or how people would react, and whether the Fellowship is different and how and why (not), and what it means to survive and to survive when you're a woman, and what it is to be a woman who cannot slide into the sweetness of marital domesticity, and how to deal with barrenness and grief and mourning family everyone else is glad to see the back of, and...
And I can say all of that, and a lot more, and mean every scrap of it, and I still feel like I'm doing this to write het. porn and letting the side down and I should be ashamed of myself. I am, ohboy, to the extent of trying to self-justify with "at least it's not a Mary Sue self-insert" when I don't really think that's something to be ashamed of, either.
I'm ashamed and it's irritating me no end.


toujours_nigel: BFT (Default)

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