Poetry Month: Day 04
How can my love hold him when the other
Flaunts a gaudy lust and is lioness
To his beast?
Men are worthless, to trap them
Use the cheapest bait of all, but never
Love, which in a woman must mean tears
And a silence in the blood.
Wandering around the Albuquerque Airport Terminal, after learning
my flight had been delayed four hours, I heard an announcement:
"If anyone in the vicinity of Gate A-4 understands any Arabic, please
come to the gate immediately."
Well—one pauses these days. Gate A-4 was my own gate. I went there.
An older woman in full traditional Palestinian embroidered dress, just
like my grandma wore, was crumpled to the floor, wailing. "Help,"
said the flight agent. "Talk to her. What is her problem? We
told her the flight was going to be late and she did this."
I stooped to put my arm around the woman and spoke haltingly.
"Shu-dow-a, Shu-bid-uck Habibti? Stani schway, Min fadlick, Shu-bit-
se-wee?" The minute she heard any words she knew, however poorly
used, she stopped crying. She thought the flight had been cancelled
entirely. She needed to be in El Paso for major medical treatment the
next day. I said, "No, we're fine, you'll get there, just later, who is
picking you up? Let's call him."
We called her son, I spoke with him in English. I told him I would
stay with his mother till we got on the plane and ride next to
her. She talked to him. Then we called her other sons just
for the fun of it. Then we called my dad and he and she spoke for a while
in Arabic and found out of course they had ten shared friends. Then I
thought just for the heck of it why not call some Palestinian poets I know
and let them chat with her? This all took up two hours.
She was laughing a lot by then. Telling of her life, patting my knee,
answering questions. She had pulled a sack of homemade mamool
cookies—little powdered sugar crumbly mounds stuffed with dates and
nuts—from her bag—and was offering them to all the women at the gate.
To my amazement, not a single woman declined one. It was like a
sacrament. The traveler from Argentina, the mom from California, the
lovely woman from Laredo—we were all covered with the same powdered
sugar. And smiling. There is no better cookie.
And then the airline broke out free apple juice from huge coolers and two
little girls from our flight ran around serving it and they
were covered with powdered sugar, too. And I noticed my new best friend—
by now we were holding hands—had a potted plant poking out of her bag,
some medicinal thing, with green furry leaves. Such an old country tradi-
tion. Always carry a plant. Always stay rooted to somewhere.
And I looked around that gate of late and weary ones and I thought, This
is the world I want to live in. The shared world. Not a single person in that
gate—once the crying of confusion stopped—seemed apprehensive about
any other person. They took the cookies. I wanted to hug all those other women, too.
This can still happen anywhere. Not everything is lost.
Clouds spread like blue cloth
across the vast sky
Has Tirumal my beautiful lord
of Venkatam, where cool streams leap
come with you?
Tears gather and spill between my breasts
like waterfalls.
He has destroyed my womanhood.
How does this bring him pride?
Clouds that spill lovely pearls
what message has the dark-hued lord
of Venkatam
sent through you?
The fire of desire has invaded my body
I suffer.
I lie awake here in the thick of night,
a helpless target for the cool southern breeze.
So easily they left me
my lustre, my bangles, thought, sleep
I am destroyed.
Compassionate clouds
I sing of Govinda’s virtues
lord of Venkatam,
where cool waterfalls leap.
How long can this alone guard my life?
Clouds bright with lightning
tell the lord of Venkatam
upon whose lovely chest Sri resides
that my supple young breasts
yearn everyday
for his resplendent body.
Great clouds rising into the sky
climb high, rain hard on Venkatam
scatter flowers brimming with honey.
Ask the one who tore the body of Hiranya
with his long nails flecked with blood
to return the conch bangles
he took from me.
Cool clouds heavy with water
rise high and pour down on Venkatam,
home of the one who took the world from Mahabali.
Tell that Narana
he entered me, consumed me, stole my well-being
like a worm that feasts on a wood-apple
Tell him of my terrible disease.
Cool clouds place the plea of this servant
at the feet of the one with beautiful lotus eyes
him who churned the ocean filled with conch.
Beseech him to enter me for a single day
to wipe away the vermilion smeared upon my breasts
only then can I survive.
8.8
Dark clouds ready for the season of rains
chant the name of the lord of Venkatam
who is valiant in battle.
Tell him, like the lovely leaves that fall in the season of rains
I waste away through the long endless years
waiting for the day when he finally sends word.
Rain clouds rising like great war-elephants over Venkatam
what word has that one
who sleeps upon the serpent
sent for me?
The world will say: ‘heedless that he was her only refuge
he killed this young girl.’
What honour is there in this?
8.10
Kotai of the king of Puduvai,
the peerless city,
desired the one reclining upon the serpent
and sent the clouds as her messengers
to the king of Venkatam
Those who place in their hearts these verses of Tamil
sung by her of luminous forehead
those who sing these words of Tamil
will be with him forever.