Hornet Flight - Ken Follett
Jun. 8th, 2025 08:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
( Spoilers in general )
Neurodivergent reward cycle
Jun. 8th, 2025 07:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Case in point: I performed recently after preparing for 5 months.
My mother said, "It went well! That must feel good."
Me: "..."
It didn't. It never really does, not unless someone else gives me external validation.
Whenever I do something hard, my brain's response is, "Well, I did it, so how hard could it have been?"
This applies to excelling academically (which I have done frequently), excelling at my job (which I have done on occasion), every type of performance I've ever undertaken (and there have been a lot), every form of art/craft I've ever done (writing, knitting, crocheting, etc.), and helping friends.
Mostly I just feel relief that it's over, and my brain isn't going to give me the constant round of "You should work on [thing]!" anymore. Nah, the shoulds will switch to something else, but at least it'll be new at first.
Human Words Project
Jun. 8th, 2025 03:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I learned today about Chris Osmond's "Human Words Project," a way for writers to indicate that their work is 100% human words, i.e. not generated by AI. Here's the logo for it, which you can add to your projects, if you want:
ETA: Note that this is not the original logo. The website was moved after the original logo was created. I took the liberty of editing the logo to reflect the current URL, and at the same time changed the size of the logo, deleted a lot of white space around it, and changed the file type to JPG (thus making the file MUCH smaller).
Culinary
Jun. 8th, 2025 07:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
This week's bread: a loaf of Dove's Farm Organic Seedhouse Bread Flour, v nice.
Friday night supper: penne with a sauce of sauce of Peppadew roasted red peppers in brine drained, whizzed in blender and gently heated while pasta cooking.
Saturday breakfast rolls: basic buttermilk (as buttermilk reaching its bb date), 3:1 strong white/rye flour, turned out nicely.
Today's lunch: panfried seabass fillets in samphire sauce, served with cauliflower florets roasted in pumpkin seed oil with cumin seeds, padron peppers (as we have noted on previous occasions, these had not been picked as young and tender as they might be), and sticky rice with lime leaves.
Weekend with cleaning
Jun. 8th, 2025 06:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
And I'll need to be on the phone to the dentists first thing on Monday. Starting from Friday afternoon, one of my molars has been super painful with any pressure on it and I strongly suspect I've got an infection at the root. Painkillers and eating very, very carefully have kept things tolerable—I don't like taking painkillers unless I really have to, and this has really been one of those times. I can't remember the last time I resorted to taking both ibuprofen and paracetamol at intervals. No idea how quickly I can be seen, but hopefully between tomorrow and Thursday. I might need to replan my office days though.
that double just loosened him up last night
Jun. 7th, 2025 10:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Also, they were on sale, so I bought a pack of paper plates and they made cleanup after cooking so easy that I remembered why I used to use them regularly back before I had a dishwasher. My plan to replace my dead dishwasher is to try the 4th of July sales - Friend L is going to join me at the store to see if the model I want (Bosch) actually fits in the space I've got (and if it goes on sale - it did not for Memorial Day, that I saw, but maybe I don't need the more expensive/top-of-the-line model? It's just that it has something that will allegedly turn the machine off if it senses a leak, which seems like a good thing to have, especially when you live in an apartment above other people and are responsible if any leakage causes damages below you). Anyway, July is a three-paycheck month, which gives me some leeway for paying most of it off ASAP and not increasing my credit card debt any more than I have to.
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One column, two letters
Jun. 7th, 2025 06:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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1. Dear Care and Feeding,
I work from home. My kids are 8 and 12. When they were little, we hired a sitter to watch them on the random days off from school, but they don’t really need a sitter now.
For holidays when they are off and I’m working, my husband and I agreed to a set of rules for them: If the kids help with two small chores, read for 30 minutes, and play outside all before noon, then they can have screen time. The kids reluctantly agreed to this policy.
But they still demand my time. They will complete the list above, then ask to FaceTime with a grandparent (a clever loophole). They come into my office whining that they are bored. They are old enough to help themselves to snacks, but if I don’t supervise, they will eat everything before lunch. I make and serve lunch. Even after lunch, they play on their tablets and mindlessly snack. If they ate everything earlier, they come to my office whining for more snacks.
I feel like my husband is taking advantage of my work-from-home job. I feel like my work and time come second to his. I would like to have a full day off the weekend after one of the school holidays. A day when no one asks me for food or entertainment or a ride somewhere. A day when I’m not picking up after everyone. I don’t need a spa day; I need a day to myself. My husband says that’s not fair because his job doesn’t have working from home as an option, and I can’t just “quit parenting for a day.”
—Holidays Are Not Days Off
( Read more... )
2. Dear Care and Feeding,
When should I let my daughter learn lessons on her own? My daughter “Chloe” is 12 years old. She recently went with her two closest friends to the zoo. She really wanted to wear a summer dress and white sandals and tried to leave the house without wearing sunscreen.
I talked to Chloe and made her go wearing sunscreen, and also shoes that would be better for walking on the dirt paths at the zoo (I couldn’t change her mind about the dress, so I picked my battles). But I’m not sure I like doing that.
She’s 12 now, and none of the consequences would have been disastrous. The next time something like this comes up, should I just let her make her mistakes and experience the consequences?
—When to Intervene
( Read more... )
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Our next-door neighbors were really welcoming when we first moved into our new home. Within weeks, though, they started complaining that our son was too loud and that he was “bothering” their dogs. He’s 5 years old and rambunctious, and he’s attracted to furry animals, which makes it really hard to keep him away from fun, furry floofs!
We tried talking it out with our neighbors, but they lodged a complaint with our HOA, presented us with a massive bill for repainting their fence after our son drew on it with chalk, and twice called the police because he was “trespassing” on their property (he entered their garden uninvited to play with their dogs).
We’re at our wits end. We are seriously considering selling up and moving, as we can’t reasonably expect a child to forever remain indoors. But it will result in a loss we cannot afford.
Is there any way to fix this situation? We feel like we’re being bullied out of our home, but our neighbors are operating well within the law and their rights.
—Homewrecker
( Read more... )
May-December (Film Review)
Jun. 7th, 2025 05:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Now, if you start the film knot knowing what it's about, then the first few minutes might let you assume it's a black comedy about suburbia; Gracie, Joe and their children live in the proverbial idyllic white fenced area somewhere in South Carolina, with Gracie (who runs a small scale bakery) coming across as somewhat high strung but popular among her neighbours - and then Elizabeth arrives, only to find an anonymous package at the couple's front door which contains feces. There are some comedy beats throughout the remaining movie, but actually I would classify it as emotional horror. Gracie is still absolutely incapable of admitting she ever did anything wrong, and we get an early taste of her ability to manipulate and achieve emotional control when she comments on her daughter's choice of prom dress: "You're so brave to show your arms! I wouldn't have dared", with the result that of course the poor girl doesn't buy that dress but the one Gracie likes. Elizabeth isn't the film's heroine, either, though in the first half her investigation provides the audience bit by bit with the backstory from various povs via the characters Elizabeth talks to; the movie goes full throttle about what a disturbing and ruthlessly exploitative process an actor working on a role can be if that role isn't a fictional character but a real person. (BTW, of course Portman and Moore don't look much alike, but that only helps enhancing the sense of disquiet as Elizabeth adopts more and more of Gracie's mannerisms, with the scene where Gracie gives Elizabeth a makeover with her own makeup and lipstick being a showcase in point.)
Meanwhile, Joe starts out on a quiet background note when compared to the two women, and then the story shows more and more how messed up not just the start of his relationship with Gracie was but how messed up their present day relationship still is. More than one review described Joe as a thirteen years old still locked in the body of an adult man, and before watching the film I assumed this meant Joe would be characterized as a manchild, but no, that's not what was meant at all. If anything, he's the most reasonably and responsibly acting adult in this film. But emotionally, it becomes clear he's never had the chance to process what happened, not least because his entire life is still built around keeping Gracie happy. He became a father years and years before growing up, and the scene where due to his teenage son for the first time sharing pot with him his quiet and calm facade finally cracks and some of that repressed emotion breaks through is incredibly good and heartbreaking.
Incidentally: making a movie which deals with an adult grooming a kid without getting voyeuristic with a young actor sounds near impossible - but May-December by showing us the aftermath and the long term effect everything had on Joe decades later proves it can be done. At the same time, we do get a visual reminder of just how young he was when Elizabeth gets sent video clips of teenagers auditioning to play Joe. (The audition clips don't show more than them introducing themselves with their name and age.) Elizabeth looks appalled, and the audience might think it's because it hits her how young thirteen really is.... and then a few scenes later, she's on the phone with her producer and tells him these guys are just wrong because they don't look sexy enough. Which tells you something about Elizabeth.
Despite how good this film is - with script, acting and cinematography all outstanding - , I'm not surprised it wasn't a box office success (while getting deservedly criticial praise.) It's hardly a subject lending itself to relaxation, and despite its three leads all being very attractive people, any sexual activity is basically the opposite of fanservice - like I said, it's an emotional horror show. Not something I'll rewatch any time soon, though I am glad I watched it once, and am full of admiration for what it achieves.
Some of these are downers and others not
Jun. 7th, 2025 03:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Actually, I can't find that the article by Molly-Jong Fast in today's Guardian Saturday is currently online, alas - clearly she had a sad and distressing childhood, even if I was tempted, and probably not the only one to be so tempted, to murmur, apologies to P Larkin, 'they zipless fuck you up...', the abrupt dismissal of her nanny, her only secure attachment figure, when Erica J suddenly remarried (again) was particularly harsh, I thought. No wonder she had problems.
And really, even if she does make a point of how relatively privileged she was, that doesn't actually ameliorate how badly she was treated.
Only the other day there was an obituary of the psychoanalyst Joy Schaverien, who wrote Boarding School Syndrome: The Psychological Trauma of the “Privileged” Child.
***
Another rather traumatic parenting story, though this is down to the hospitals: BBC News is now aware of five cases of babies swapped by mistake in maternity wards from the late 1940s to the 1960s. Lawyers say they expect more people to come forward driven by the increase in cheap genetic testing.:
[V]ery gradually, more babies were delivered in hospital, where newborns were typically removed for periods to be cared for in nurseries.
"The baby would be taken away between feeds so that the mother could rest, and the baby could be watched by either a nursery nurse or midwife," says Terri Coates, a retired lecturer in midwifery, and former clinical adviser on BBC series Call The Midwife.
"It may sound paternalistic, but midwives believed they were looking after mums and babies incredibly well."
It was common for new mothers to be kept in hospital for between five and seven days, far longer than today.
To identify newborns in the nursery, a card would be tied to the end of the cot with the baby's name, mother's name, the date and time of birth, and the baby's weight.
"Where cots rather than babies were labelled, accidents could easily happen"
Plus, this was the era of the baby boom, one imagines maternity wards may have been a bit swamped....
***
A different sort of misattribution: The furniture fraud who hoodwinked the Palace of Versailles:
[T]his assortment of royal chairs would become embroiled in a national scandal that would rock the French antiques world, bringing the trade into disrepute.
The reason? The chairs were in fact all fakes.
The scandal saw one of France's leading antiques experts, Georges "Bill" Pallot, and award-winning cabinetmaker, Bruno Desnoues, put on trial on charges of fraud and money laundering following a nine-year investigation.
....
Speaking in court in March, Mr Pallot said the scheme started as a "joke" with Mr Desnoues in 2007 to see if they could replicate an armchair they were already working on restoring, that once belonged to Madame du Barry.
Masters of their crafts, they managed the feat, convincing other experts that it was a chair from the period.
***
I am really given a little hope for an anti-Mybug tendency among the masculine persuasion: A Man writes in 'the issue is not whether men are being published, but whether they are reading – and being supported to develop emotional lives that fiction can help foster'
While Geoff Dyer in The Books of [His] Life goes in hard with Beatrix Potter as early memory, Elizabeth Taylor as late-life discovery, and Rosamond Lehmann's The Weather in the Streets as
One of those perennially bubbling-under modern classics – too good for the Championship, unable to sustain a place in the Premier league – which turns out to be way better than some of the canonical stalwarts permanently installed in the top flight.
Okay, I mark him down a bit for the macho ' I don’t go to books for comfort', but still, not bad for a bloke, eh.
Recommendation: love is an affliction by WerewolvesAreReal, ST:TOS Hanahaki Disease
Jun. 7th, 2025 12:15 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
love is an affliction
it's only me who wants to wrap around your dreams
Jun. 6th, 2025 04:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Anyway, staying up for the previous games in the series (they were out in LA) caught up with me and I couldn't keep my eyes open last night, so I ended up going right to bed at 8:30. It wasn't even fully dark yet! But I slept through till 4:15, got up to use the bathroom, and then slept through again till my alarm went off at 8:15, so I guess I really needed it. I had a lot of dreams, but the one that stuck with me was something where I was already in the hospital visiting someone, and the doctor was like, "we need to talk about your appendix, it needs to come out!" And I was like, "that's news to me since I haven't had an appendix since 1976!" (truth!) And she was like, "what?" and I was like, "what?" and then the dream moved on - I don't remember anything else.
There's really not a whole lot else going on. Work is busy - our CFO keeps trying to steal me away from my boss, but like, there's nothing in Finance for me to do? My main job is board support, and that belongs either in legal or the CEO's office, so...*hands* I guess if something ever happened to my position I might consider trying to transfer, but I just don't see how that would work. No one is indispensable, but no one else in this organization does what I do (and frankly, no one else wants to). If a new CEO comes in and has different ideas, that could be a problem, but I'm trying not to think about that too much. There are closer threats to my job right now. *gestures at everything*
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