not managing this depression thing too well

[toujours_nigel]

In the worst sort of mood today. A decade ago I would have been carving frustration into my skin by now. But at 25 that's no longer a thing, so I just bite my nails down to cuticle and blood.

Haven't had a day this bad in a long time. The weather doesn't help.

Comments

[greerwatson]

Your weather made today's newspaper. In Canada. As someone who wilts in far less, I sympathize.

Nevertheless, "Cut for self harm" is not what I want to see on my Reading page. Very bad for you. Bad for you, I mean.

Cheer up, old thing. Never died a year yet, and all that.

[toujours_nigel]

It's insanely hot; about a 1000 people have died. what is summer.

I'm... this is the fourth year of my depression, so I'll cope. But just a bad time. Two days off my grandfather's death-anniversary.

[lilliburlero]

Thinking of you. *hugs* if *hugs* help, and hope you feel better soon.

[toujours_nigel]

*hugs* always help, thank you.

[fawatson]

I'm wafting nice warm fuzzy thoughts over the ether to you; anniversaries are a BITCH! Personally I recommend sleeping in late, then having a nice l-o-n-g bath (complete with nicely scented bath oil and candles) followed by cream meringues and chocolate. You DESERVE it!

As for the rest:

Harm reduction - that's the buzzword these days. Cuticle biting to bloodiness is FAR better than cutting. Though it does have long term effects (the final joint of each of my fingers is scarred red from years of biting). Not that it was even recognised as self-harm back in days of yore when I started....

[toujours_nigel]

No bathtubs, sadly, bad part of living in dorms. But yeah, I think meditation and chocolates for me tomorrow.

I haven't cut in nearly a decade now, and I've always bitten my nails, irregardless. *g*

And than you for the warm fuzzies, they help.

[greerwatson]

Chocolate, certainly: a bit soft, I should think; but it'll still taste good. I'd avoid the cream meringues (which you probably can't get, anyway): they'd go off in the heat.

If no bath, then a cool shower? Clearly, the temperature cannot improve your situation.

[toujours_nigel]

Dark chocolate, delicious. *g* This city is actually rife in tiny bakeries that do brilliant cake.

I've slept through the worst of the heat, and showered, and hydrated. Grieving comfortably seems to be key.

[greerwatson]

Dark chocolate is very helpful. I have found that to be true myself.

[oonaseckar]

I'll refrain from quoting Desiderata because, you know. Raging sentimentality and and crashingly obvious and all that. Relevant, though. Still, oh, fuck it.

be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.

Good, still, though, huh? Good. Useful, almost every line, I find. Don't quote Kipling's 'If' at me in response, that would be tit-for-tat taken to the level of mean.

Gym? Punching bag?

[toujours_nigel]

Darling. Thank you. Not quoting anything at all in response.

Too hot to punch anything, taking prompts instead.