toujours_nigel: sunrise over silhouetted trees (skies)
[personal profile] toujours_nigel
 If i have to deal with another post saying James Flint/McGraw is gay I'll... I dunno, I'll explode into a thousand angry, hissing Rheas and slip into the interwebs with knives between my teeth. Something. God.

Like
  • sexual acts and identities of the period in no way map onto current notions of sexuality
  • the word you're looking for is 'bi', and possibly 'demi'

We never see the Hamiltons being sexual with each other, so fine, if you wanna argue that Thomas doesn't fuck women, alright. Fine. I would still not call Miranda his beard, since they pretty obviously have at least a romantic bond and that feels like an aphobic requirement to me, but you know what, fine. Arguments about children are extremely invalid tho.

But James! We actually see James having sex with Miranda, for fun, for love, for the sake of continuing an argument. Having sullen making-a-point sex is not proof you're not sexually interested in your partner, it's just proof you're passive-aggressive and Old Married. And, just, he loves her so much, he loves Miranda so much, he's ruined over her death, he's the worst iteration of himself without Miranda's hand on the reins. If his voice breaks when he says "they took my woman, my friend", that is not evidence that he's the Gayest Gay Ever To Gay and doesn't know how the str8s talk about women they love. His wife just died and he's having to turn that into a political flourish, ffs cut the man a break.

It doesn't invalidate James and Thomas' love for each other if they both loved Miranda and she loved them. Poly people exist, and just. She was their wife, she spent at least a decade married to each of them, and they only had a year or two together. Of course James is ruined over Miranda, just what the actual fuck else should he be? That was his wife of a dozen years, with whom he clawed his way out of the rubble of his past life, whom he tried to keep safe and for whom he scraped together little comforts. You wanna look at their affectionate back-and-forth and the bookish apologies and the continued eyefucking and say they're not A Thing and Flint is, what, only servicing Miranda because he feels obligated? For a decade? ffs, if they were only briefly lovers before James/Thomas started up again, why on earth wouldn't they decide Miranda would give herself out as his widowed sister or something?

Augh.

ETA: While I'm all for James' gorgeous relationships with Eleanor and Madi, I'm faintly leery of all the Soft Dad takes on them because they feel very... targeted somehow at positing James as someone whose interest in women is platonic by default and simultaneously infantilises women who are in (at minimum) their mid-late twenties when we meet them. Is Flint old enough he could have been their Dad? Sure. But, like, something feels iffy.

Date: 2019-03-02 09:26 am (UTC)
selenak: (Flint by Violateraindrop)
From: [personal profile] selenak
It doesn't invalidate James and Thomas' love for each other if they both loved Miranda and she loved them.

This this this, as the kids say these days. And really good point that James and Miranda could have pretended to be brother and sister if they had wanted to. His entire intense mourning period in the first half of s3 isn't just for his "last connection to Thomas" or however this is handwaved, but for her, Miranda, the woman he's been living with for a decade. Now I'm perfectly prepared to believe James/Thomas was more intense - that's how any falling-in-love period feels like, and they never had the chance to live with each other day by day and transition into an "established relationship of many years" era, which both of them did with Miranda. I'm also fine with saying either of them outside their triangle prefered men sexually. But that they didn't love Miranda in every sense of the word? No way.

Date: 2019-03-03 12:10 am (UTC)
greywash: A lounging pinup girl, holding a cocktail. (Default)
From: [personal profile] greywash
YES THIS, EXACTLY THIS, THIIIIIIS EXACTLY THIS.

*HOLDS UP LIGHTER, SWAYING*

(♥)

Date: 2019-03-03 12:15 am (UTC)
greywash: A lounging pinup girl, holding a cocktail. (Default)
From: [personal profile] greywash
Having sullen making-a-point sex is not proof you're not sexually interested in your partner, it's just proof you're passive-aggressive and Old Married.

yes this exactly.

Date: 2019-03-04 08:15 pm (UTC)
felinejumper: A topless woman slumped on a book and looking at a cat (Default)
From: [personal profile] felinejumper
ffffffff was going to highlight this exact line, YEAH. WELL SAID. VERY WELL SAID.

Date: 2019-03-03 11:19 am (UTC)

Date: 2019-03-05 03:35 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] sidewaystime
this is one of those times that i wish i could could just keyboard smash and also be eloquent but instead i shall just say Yes, This.

I find eternally frustrating the ways that all these messy complicated relationships get sanitized for the sake of modern labeling.

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