Snapshots: Loyalties

[toujours_nigel]

It is almost odd, that he had expected this to happen... expected to see the black-cloaked, blond-haired figure beckoning him, ever since he ran away from home. It only surprises him that it took this long, he’s been living at the Potters’ for a month now and they go back to Hogwarts tomorrow. Or maybe, this—the anonymity of Diagon Alley—was essential.

 

“Lucius,” he grins, slipping into a chair in front of Florean Fortesque’s ice-cream shop. “Long time, no see.”

 

Lucius stares at him inscrutably, then smiles. “Where’s James? Thought Dorea would have him under orders to keep an eye on you...in case.”

 

“She does... he’s ogling brooms at the moment.”

 

“Ah...” Lucius contemplatively sticks a spoon into his sundae, coolly ignoring the passers-by who are ogling them. “Walburga is furious, so is Orion. You are to go back immediately and beg abjectly for their pardon.” He looks up, sighs, “Sirius, you must. We all know that Orion can be a bit...domineering at times, but you cannot just walk out on us.”

 

“Watch me,” Sirius answers, mouth a stiff straight line, full lips tight with defiance.

 

“You’ve decided, then.” Lucius sounds unsurprised, merely somewhat annoyed, a captain noting the defection of a good soldier to the enemy.

 

“Of course, Lucius. We have to pick sides eventually. No-one’s too young to be killed.” Lucius, of all people, should know that. He has been killing for over two years now, has killed innocent children.

 

“Poor baby boy, trying to convince me he’s chosen to go over to Dumbledore because it’s the right thing to do,” Lucius mocks, easily slipping into the half-taunting tone both he and Bella use. “Sirius, I thought Gryffindors were supposed to be brave and honest. Or is that pathetic lie what you’re trying to make yourself believe?”

 

His face flushes, then pales. “Of course I’m doing this because it’s right, why else wou...” But Lucius is watching him with cool, commiserating eyes and he falters.

 

“James is with that Mudblood slut, isn’t he? The redhead? Severus said something about it. You lot hung him upside down to impress her... rather childish, I’d say.”

 

“Yeah... he’s with Lily, well, he wants to be with Lily, but how does that matter?”

 

“Sirius, he’ll never care, you know that, don’t you? He’ll make a speech at your funeral, shed a few tears and go home to fuck the Mudblood bint.” Lucius has leant forward, his voice low, persuasive, like the purring of a giant cat, or maybe a chained panther. “You do know?”

 

“He... I know,” he admits slowly, voice barely above a whisper, then looks up, meeting Lucius’ grey eyes with a rare sincerity in his steel gaze. “I have always known.”

 

“The stupid Hat was right, then. Who thought, a Black a Gryffindor? Sirius, does Dumbledore know what a prize he has?” He laughs carelessly. “Does James?”

 

Sirius shrugs; Lucius knows the answer as well as he does. Five years ago, even two, he would have burrowed into the older boys arms for comfort... but now, he’s no longer a child, Lucius no longer the perfect refuge. “You’d do the same for Cissa,” he smiles, “it’s what you do for those you...”

 

Lucius’ hand is on his mouth in a vice-like grip. “Don’t say it,” he admonishes, tone a breezy contrast to the pressure of his hand. “If you say it, you can never take it back. If you speak the words to someone, it exists.” Sirius nods, it’s old magic, so old even the Muggles know the importance of the words.

 

“I heard about Cissa,” he says when Lucius lets go. “I’m sorry.”

 

The Malfoy heir looks at him coldly, all trace of humanity gone. “Sad, but not unexpected. Happens in all the old families, you know that. We’re both young, it’s not the end of the world.” True, but Sirius remembers this boy, at ten, consoling Regulus on the death of a pet bird.

 

So he leans forward, rests long fingers on Lucius’ wrist. “I am sorry. Cissa must be heart-broken.” Lucius’ face changes, the boy peeking forth.

 

“It was going to be a girl. My pretty little princess. Fiona, after my mother... damn it, Sirius.” He is barely more than a boy, Sirius realises with a shudder, barely twenty, not quite a man yet. And Abraxas Malfoy is worse than his father is, hard though that is to believe.

 

He pats Lucius awkwardly on the arm, unsure what to say...what comfort can anyone offer grieving parents, especially parents who have never seen their child draw breath? Lucius straightens after a while, smirks at him. “James will be looking for you, my little lion-cub.”

 

He bristles, happy to be able to play this game again. “Not a cub anymore, Malfoy!”

 

“Not full grown either, pup.” Lucius stands, tossing his cloak around his shoulders, fastening the snake clasp. “Bellatrix is absolutely furious... I would advise you to stay far away from her, if you value your life... she’s liable to skewer you.”

 

“I’ll be careful,” he laughs, pushing back his chair. “Why’s she still on my track, though? After all those speeches about despising blood-traitors?”

 

“Sirius, don’t act stupid, it’s extremely unsuitable,” Lucius snarls. “She considers herself cheated out of a year of pleasure, as you know full well.  Besides, you are family and she adores the concept, for all that her view of it is a bit skewed. We all do.”

 

“Gave up on Meda pretty easily,” Sirius snaps back, though he knows that is most unfair, Lucius tried, to the best of his ability, to keep Andromeda in the family. Almost succeeded, too, even at sixteen. “Anyway, James is family too, ‘as you know full well’.”

 

“Ah, but does he?” Lucius smirks, then looks at him with sudden, absolute affection. “Now I really must go, pup. Take care. Practise duelling... you were getting pretty good, not good enough yet, but you’ll get there, maybe, someday, if you’re lucky...” ‘and work hard and for fuck’s sake, dodge and duck’, Sirius finishes the chant in his head, chuckling.

 

“I ought to be good,” he says, wishing he could be fourteen again and Lucius his idol. “Trained by the best, wasn’t I?”

 

“The very best that blood can buy,” Lucius said gravely. “Pity the best will kill you someday. Don’t let that day be too soon, OK? Tell that idiot to be careful as well, will you?

 

Sirius nods, then grins, unable to help himself. “Treason, Lucius? What will the Dark Lord think?”

 

“That my first loyalty is to my blood, as should have been yours. Now you had best run along. That fool has probably been thrown out of Quality Quidditch Supplies for tampering goods. Dorea will not be best pleased if that happens.”

 

“No, I guess not,” Sirius mutters, turning to check whether James has arrived.

 

When he turns back, he is sitting alone at the table.